Lessons in Loserdom
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Jo didn't want to be eliminated this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.
1. Chapter 1: The Flush of Lame

_A/N; Based off the RP Banette and I were doing. Changed a bit to edit into a story, many of Lightning's internalizations to make it into a proper narrative and because I play Jo in our RPs I stuck with her POV. So yes. It's no secret we are both in love with this pairing and we needed to make up for the fact that both of them were eliminated too early for any subplot to develop.  
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_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter One: Flush of Lame_**

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Jo was pissed. Between Queen Bitch Heather and Fat Headed Scott there were much better candidates for elimination than her. She shouldn't have been kicked out in favor of those morons! And she didn't want to be stuck in loserdom with not one but two brainless wonders... speaking of brainless wonders... Lightning wasn't the person she wanted to deal with now in her failure.

He was waiting there when she walked up the steps of the playa and he looked smug too which just made her want to shove his head in a toilet and flush repeatedly. Who the hell even came up with the flush of shame anyway? She was wet, humiliated and had zero patience right now. She glared right at the dumb jock daring him to test her.

"Say anything right now dumbass and I'll make sure your protein powder is making the next flush of shame," she scowled and pushed past him.

Lightning, being ever-so-intelligent, laughed at her threat. "Ha! Lightning didn't even BRING his protein powder here!" He followed her, almost slipping on the trail of water she was leaving behind. "I just wanna say that karma got you bad," he declared proudly, matching the blonde's pace and walking alongside her. "Just HAD to get rid of Lightning, huh? Just HAD to vote off the one guy who got you so far in Revenge of the Island, huh? You know, that's the second time you tried to sabotage me-and both times you got kicked off next episode! Sha-ha!"

Jo couldn't believe what she was hearing. Ex-CUSE him? He was the one that got HER far in Revenge of the Island? Sha-please. Jo wanted to just ignore him or slap him one but he needed to get his head fixed. She spun around and stuck a finger in his well-built chest, ready to give him a piece of her mind. "I was the one that carried YOU to the final of Revenge of the Island, dumbass. You would have been out a lot sooner if it wasn't for me. And did you even THANK me for dragging your sorry ass all the way to the finals? No. You did not."

If he had one she would have expected to be owed half of the winnings because she was the one who carried him there. "So, yeah, FORGIVE me if I didn't want to make that mistake a second time." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and she was even more pissed off now.

Lightning crossed his arms, glaring at her. "Are you kidding?! When we got on the same team, I got you out of that mine and found you the keys! If you hadn't made me sharkfood, I would've taken you to the final two! But no, you betrayed me! After all I did to get you ahead!"

She just got flushed and he was making it about him?! Did he have any idea how humiliated she was? How annoyed she was for getting shafted like that? Jo scowled, she'd never trusted that he would have taken her to the final two. But that was her problem, she never trusted anyone, so she couldn't be sure that he meant it. She didn't have much of an answer to betraying him, she did it but he was asking for it. Her face grew red and flustered. "Well, you... you thought I was a guy the entire time!" No wonder she betrayed him. She couldn't STAND him.

"Hey! You never told me till you got voted off! How was I supposed to know that?!"

Jo rolled her eyes. He was still denying it. There wasn't much point fighting about it with him. Her anger turned back toward the remaining Villainous Vultures. "They're making a big mistake getting rid of me. Now they're gonna have that Queen Bitch Heather calling all the shots. Those suckers just got rid of their best player," she boasted. "And their best leader."

She looked Lightning over, now they were on the same side again - the loser side nonetheless but whatever. "Their two best players," she said again with some pause in between, eyes darting away from his because she did not want to meet his gaze at a time like this. That was all he was getting from her.

"They're scared, is what's the problem," Lightning said. "All the threats go first-you remember that Beverly guy, right? They're taking out their competition early. Heh, but it's on them. Let's see how they pull off challenges without me...us!"

He was calling her a threat, which she liked. But he still was stupid enough to have forgotten she'd been the one to vote him off first, but at least he wasn't bitter about it anymore. She shot him a small appreciative smile. "Well as much as I'd like to stand around and talk about how much those idiots have shot themselves in the foot, I really need a shower. So, I'll be seeing ya around Jockstrap."

She didn't hear his reply. She took off inside, hoping to wash away all her irritation and plan to get back at everyone for putting her here with two dumb losers. Just her luck.

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_Opinions? Ideas? We'll take them.  
_


	2. Chapter 2: Thanks, I Work Out

_A/N; Credit to Banette for doing an awesome Lightning. Am tempted to put the Lightning POV up too because it's just brilliantly hilarious but I want to know if you'd read it. In this chapter Jo thinks a bit about Brick. Ah, if only Brick had been in All Stars. It really was a pity.  
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_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Two: Thanks, I Work Out_**

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After a shower later, Jo was standing outside looking out to where she'd come from, wondering what those jerks still on the island were doing now. Hopefully her team were already paying for her elimination. At least they would tomorrow when it was challenge time again. Suckers. She briefly thought she saw Lightning again out of the corner of her eye and was glad it seemed like bygones were bygones between them, at least until they started competing with each other again.

"Hey Lightning," she called out to him. "What are we supposed to do around here anyway?" For how many weeks now? She wasn't anticipating being out this early.

"Huh?" Of course he'd be slow to realize that she had called to him. "I don't know," he replied, walking over and shrugging. "I've never been in the sha-Playa before. Just wait for the end of the season, I guess? There's a pool, a gym, and other stuff, and they cook you anything you want...so, I guess they're keeping us here until the finale?"

Jo screwed up her nose. The finale. She didn't want any of those morons to win. "I guess, so they can bring us back to watch one of those losers win the million." She supposed she really didn't want Heather to win, but she didn't want anybody to win now. Maybe Sam or Cameron again wouldn't be too terrible. Or Duncan. "Not like we want to see that." The gym huh? She could watch Lightning overwork himself in the gym for some laughs. "Last one to the gym has to do 100 pull-ups." She took off, she got a head start and thought she knew vaguely where the gym was at after walking past it on the way to her room.

"Hey!"

Lightning took off after her, determined to win at all costs. Therefore the overachiever ran until he was right next to Jo, smirking at her. "Ready to lose again, Joke? Sha-ha-Aaahh!" Out of nowhere a table came into his path and he collided with it, hard, and went down. "Wait up!" He pulled himself up and started again.

"Yes!" Jo shouted in triumph as she saw him collide with the table. "See ya in the gym sucker!" Thankfully the gym ended up being right where she thought it was and she easily ran right in there.

She waited for him with her arm crossed and a smirk on her face. Even though she voted him out she did miss his gullibility. They still weren't friends and it would take a while for her to forgive him for being such a moron last season but they could still get along while they were here. "Suck it loser!" she said when he finally arrived. "Now get to work." _Ha._

"No!" Lightning dropped to his knees dramatically. "Hey, no fair! There was a table in my way! If not, I would've totally sha-won!"

"Not my problem, Jockstrap." Jo said nonchalantly and leaned back on a weight lifting bench, watching him.

With a defeated sigh he back to his feet again and made his way to the pull-up bar in the corner, grabbing it and starting on the pull-ups. "One...Two...Three..."

She was amused watching him work out. Well, at least he could thank her later for the awesome workout he'd receive. "Soooo..." she began, picking up the weights and lifting them slowly just for something to do. They were pretty light, if it turned out Lightning was the last person to use them Jo would have to laugh at him. "What have you been up to around here in luxury mansion?"

"Ten...eleven... I conditioned, finally caught up on my DPA...and hung around to see who got kicked off."

"You know, you should probably thank me you're not stuck out there in the loser cabins anymore. So yeah, you're welcome." She knew well that he didn't want to thank her for that, but she was keeping the conversation going.

"What loser cabins? For your information, I spent my only night on Boney Island-ain't no way I'm sha-thankin' you for THAT."

That was fair, Boney Island would've sucked. Though he was the one who volunteered. "You wanted to go. Just sucks it didn't work out for you." No statue, no invincibility. That's how it went.

"Well, had I KNOWN it was Boney Island..." Lightning continued his pull-ups for a moment, and Jo noticed he'd stopped counting, and there was no way that idiot could count in his head. She was about to pull him up on it when he asked, "Hey-how'd you get kicked off? Did they figure out what a witch you are yet, or what?"

Jo almost dropped the weight on herself at his question. Her face burned with fury and she worked through the pain of getting the weight back up where it belonged. "You're an ass Lightning." No witty retort this time. But at least he realized she was a girl, there was that.

"Hey! Takes one to know one...! Forty-eight...forty-nine..."

Takes one to know one? Seriously? He was going to go there? And how was he already up to fifty? Half way already? _Yeah right._ "I hit that fat-headed redneck with the leech cannon. Wasn't my fault." That was her story and she was sticking to it.

"A leech cannon?" He didn't bother trying to hold it in; Lightning burst out laughing when he heard about Jo's bout of misfortune. "What kind of crazyass challenge involves a leech cannon, anyway? Did you guys re-enact Saving Private Bryan?"

Jo bristled at the laughter. "It's Saving Private Ryan." And that gave her the uncomfortable memory of Private Soggy Pants. She wondered what happened to him and why that weenie cadet didn't get himself on All-Stars. Sam got invited - _Sam_! That had to be a pretty hefty blow to the ego. But since Brick was wetting himself half the season they probably didn't want a repeat. Jo had been harsh on him, but now she actually kinda felt bad for him. Who knew? If they weren't in constant competition maybe they could have been friends. Wait, what was she thinking? She didn't make friends with lameo mother's boys who wet themselves!

"Yeah, that. There were leeches in that, right? Yeah, huge ones." He snorted as he resumed his workout.

There were leeches in Saving Private Ryan? "Do you even hear yourself speak sha-moron? Anyway, I don't know what Chris was thinking. Leeches?" Dumbest challenge ever.

"Hey, this is the guy who grew a giant plant that tried making me into prime rib! The dude is sha-crazy!" There was a small pause, when he asked. "So-who you think's gonna be joining us here soon?"

Jo groaned and got up from the weight bench. "They all deserve to be here instead of me, but I'm hoping it's Heather. She had her chance at the million." And Jo was still talking. Annoyed that Lightning hadn't answered her yet. "I mean who really wants to be bossed around by that nasty wench for the rest of the season. She's horrible and all her decisions are wrong." _No reaction?_

She still waited for Lightning to answer her and realized he'd given up counting altogether. Something was up with him. "Loose count Sha-Dumbass?"

"Huh?" He looked like he hadn't even remembered where he was from the surprise on his face. "Hah! Lightning was counting in his head! Er..."

There was another long pause and without warning Lightning let go of the bar, not really seeming like he was concentrating. Jo went over to him. "Hey meathead, what gives?" She frowned a little concerned for him and maybe feeling a little bit guilty. Maybe she trampled on his ego a bit too much. She brought a tentative hand to his back and vowed to use it to knock him down if he made her feel awkward about touching him. She was trying here.

"Yeah-I'm sha-fine," he said quickly, drawing back. "Look, I, uh, did a lot of training already, and it's late and stuff so...Lightning's gonna hit the sack." He took off from the gym.

_Okay what?!_ Jo was just left there reeling. Okay, it was getting late but he was acting weird and he just took off away from her. Yeah, she got it from the last season, Lightning didn't like to how weakness and all that. But what the heck was up with him? She could possibly just let it go, and go to bed herself but it would eat at her that maybe she'd said or done something wrong (without the possibility of defending herself) if she didn't go and hassle him about it.

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_Things are developing slowly, but we'll see how it goes...  
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_If you want Lightning's POV up too let me (or Banette) know._


	3. Chapter 3: Denial is Key

_A/N; I had to split this up because it was super long. So next chapter may be short to compensate.  
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_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Three: Denial is Key  
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So she strode through the Playa, looking in different rooms until she came across the one that must have been his. She knocked on the door. "Open up Lightning. Don't make me come in there and kick your ass." Threats would get him to come out. They never failed.

She could hear him in there, stalling for time no doubt. "Uh..." And then it sounded like stuff was getting moved about. Furniture? Sneaky move. "You can't come in right now," he called. "Lightning's sha-sleeping!" To emphasize, he made snoring sounds.

_Oh brother_. Jo rolled her eyes. He actually believed that was going to work? She tried to the door but she found that it wasn't opening. It was caught on something. Just the fact that he was going to all this effort to shut her out made her even more determined to get in there. Well if he thought she'd fall for the sleeping thing, then he would for sure fall for the walking away thing. "It's too bad you're sleeping Bonehead. Guess I'll have to go back to my own room then." she smirked and started walking on the spot. _Dumbass_.

"Sha-booyah! No one outsmarts the Lightning!" She heard from inside the room, and then there was that scraping sound upon the floor again. "Stupid Jo, thinking she's all that. No way could she ever outsmart me!"

She had her ear pressed against the door, hearing him ramble on about how smart he was or some junk. Jo quirked an eyebrow. It was certainly amusing. She heard some shifting around and waited five minutes before turning the handle on the door and barging her shoulder into it so she put all the force she could on it. This time it opened easily and she all but toppled into his room. "HA!" she shouted, collecting herself again. "I got you sha-sucker! Now what the hell is your deal?"

Lightning was sitting on his bed when she burst in and looked like he was about to have a heart attack. "GAH!" He shook his head in shock. "Wha-how did...how did you... You TRICKED me!" He gave her a steely look. "No way am I telling you anything! Get out of my sha-room!"

Jo crossed her arms across her chest. She didn't go to all that effort just to be told to take a hike. What was his deal? Now it was really bugging her. Like, really bugging her. Like, she wasn't going to let it rest until she found out. Jo leaned her back on the door that she shut behind her. "Nice try. But if you want me out you're going to have to make me," her lips were pursed in a challenging smile. She'd like to see that. "So are you going to tell me what your deal is?" He wasn't the type to get all whimsical just because she ordered him to do a few push-ups, so what was it?

"Nope!" He sat down on his bed and crossed his arms, glaring at the jockette. "You can stand here all night, but there's no way I'm telling you that I'm shamed for losing! Ha!"

He slapped a hand to his mouth, looking at Jo with a look that told the whole story and Jo laughed loudly, squashing the guilt she felt before it could bubble up.

"Really? That's what's got you acting like a moody woman and retreating to your room?" Jo laughed again. "I've got to say, you just lost a few points of respect in my book Jockstrap. I would've thought you'd take losing like a man." But then it was him... Lightning... the guy painfully in denial every time she kicked his ass at anything. "I think its good you lost. Now you have to admit you're not good at everything." And that she was better than he was, also important.

"Hey!" he said indignantly. "It's lot like I never lose!" He paused, looking down for a brief moment. "It's just that I don't lose." Like that made a lot of sense to Jo. "See? See why I didn't tell you?" He pointed an accusing finger in her direction, back to being defensive. "You don't get it! I have a lot riding on me to be the best-something like this could ruin all of it!"

"Well I don't usually lose either." she told him. "What do you want me to say? I'm sorry? It's not like I could trust you, you had some stupid grudge against me. Look, its a dog eat dog world Lightning. And just because-" he was good-looking and talented -"you're you doesn't mean you get a free pass. You play just as dirty as everyone else." Not as dirty as her, but she was an expert.

He spluttered, evidently trying to come up with something to one-up her. "Huh-yeah, well...I don't need free passes! You think I'm not pressured enough?!"

Jo felt bad for him, she didn't have the same external pressure as he did to succeed, just... she didn't know why she did it. She liked having something to rub in other people's faces, she guessed.

"You don't need to say anything, either. It's just...just..." Was he really looking like he was about to cry? "Having a famous dad who wants a legacy of famous pros...you learn never to take losing easily. That's why I make sure to win, no matter the cost, or tricks! And losing like THIS..." he trailed off, letting her fill in the blanks.

What did he expect her to take him in her arms and let him cry on her shoulder? She snorted a scoff. Yeah right. Not Jo. She didn't do sympathy. "Cry me a river." She rolled her eyes and came over to sit beside him on the bed. "You got kicked out because you lost the challenge. I couldn't save your sorry ass because you were too dumb to keep count." It wasn't her fault. Everyone wanted him out!

"So? Everyone knew I was the best! Which is why YOU got them to get rid of me! So it's your fault, Jo!"

"So it's my fault you can't count to save your life? Puh-lease." Jo rolled her eyes yet again.

"I can too count! Does the word pressure mean anything to you? When you need to look good in front of all those losers from before? That's why I lost!"

"Yeah, you just conveniently forgot how to count when you most needed to," she said with the same biting sarcasm, that was one of the most stupidest things she'd ever heard. "Yeah," pressure meant something to her but it was just a flimsy excuse. "Pressure is what happens when your head swells to the size of a parade float." Daily. He really needed to get over himself.

"It wasn't my-"

"Fault? Look," Jo said sympathetically. "If you want I'll help make sure it'll never happen again." She could be nice. She smirked. "Here we go. You'll be counting like a first grader in no time." She flexed her fingers and drew them into a fist. "One," she punched his arm. "Two," she punched his arm again. "Three..."

"Really? Wow, why-OW!" He pulled away, glaring at her. "That doesn't help!"

She was very amused at him saying that she wasn't helping. Her smirk grew wider and she was on the brink of laughing at him again. "Hey, I just thought you'd need a physical reminder to help it sink it. But excuseeeee me if my techniques aren't helping you." She just wanted to hit him a few times. Mission accomplished.

She was careful then because she didn't want to tick him off by saying what she really thought about his whole family situation - but it was messed up. So instead of saying that his dad was a douche if he took something like Total Drama that seriously, she chose another tactic. "Like you have to own what happened. Blame Chris. Blame those other idiots on your team. But in no way admit it was your fault. You got that?" she stuck a finger in his face hoping he got the message. She wouldn't say that to anyone else, but he needed the help... and sometimes denial was a girl's best friend.

"Got it...I think. Wait, what?"

_Ugggghhhhhhhhhhhh_. She groaned inside of her head. Did she really have to repeat it all over again? Of course she did - this was Lightning - the king of idiocy. She had to repeat EVERYTHING with him. "All I'm saying, sha-moron, is that if you have to pin your failures on anyone there are a hundred other more worthy scapegoats for you to use. We're on Total Drama. There are loser interns, camera people, Chris, Chef. Any one of those suckers. Yeah, you forgot how to count but does anyone need to know you forgot how to count? No. So there is NO reason you have to own it. It's called strategy Lamewad. And there's no reason why you just have to use it in the game." Strategy was for everyday life.

"So, I blame it on other things?" A smile finally showed up on his face for the first time since their race, and Lightning nodded. "Sha-got it. Hey, let me ask you something...did you do the same? Both times?"

Jo scowled. Here she was trying to do something NICE and he turned it back on her. Why did she even bother? "What? No!" she denied as quickly as she could. "Scott's fat head really was in the way." It wasn't her fault at all. "And you and pencil neck conspired against me the time before that. I'm just saying if I made a mistake as big as you did I'd blame it on some other poor sucker."

"Well, duh, only cuz you decided to make my butt sharkbait!" Lightning cried. "Besides, not counting isn't as sha-dumb as shooting leeches at a teammate! If I was going by that logic, I could blame the sky for making me lose last time!"

He was really pushing it. If he didn't want to take her courtesy or her sympathy then he could shove it. And of course she let the anger go to her head. He really didn't know how to take a favor when it was given to him. She made a guttural sound reserved for wresting people to the ground and jumped on him, pinning him down by the arms and using all her strength to do so. _Childish? So what? He was asking for it!_ "You're lucky I was even bothering to make you feel better Sha-moron." He wouldn't know logic if it bit him on the ass.

"Hey!" He glared up at her, shocked and even more pissed off than he had been earlier. "I was asking a question! It's not my-urgh-fault that you-ngh-didn't answer it!"

"What?! You weren't asking a question. You were being stupid, as usual." Last time she EVER tried to help someone.

"I was too asking a question! You were just too proud to answer it! And your advice SUCKS!"

Lightning let out a curt sigh, then shifted his weight so that they'd reversed places. "You're just,mad because I'm better than you, and you know it!"

She was flustered and irritated over how easily he flipped her over, but if she couldn't get the upper hand by sheer force she'd have to play dirty. "Think you're better than me. Really?" Her mouth curled up in a cruel smile and she kicked the legs of the white-haired jock, unbalancing him enough to slip out from his hold and stick a hand down to shove his face into the mattress. "And by the way, you reek of testosterone." And he could suck it.

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_These two have a lot of issues with each other.  
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_That's what makes it fun._


	4. Chapter 4: Everybody Hates Jo

_A/N; It's still pretty long really. There is a lot of over-emotional family crap in Lightning's POV that you're missing out on. That was pretty awesome stuff. This is all leading up to stuff, so yeah. You'll see in the future!  
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_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Four: Nobody Loves Jo  
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Lightning howled in pain before being pushed down into his mattress. After working his head to the side to breathe, he tried to look high up enough to glare. "That was cheating! Man, no wonder they wanted you gone! You're a sha-jerk!"

He was just making her angrier and angrier. But then it wasn't the first time the quarterback had had that effect on her. She released her hold on him and was thinking of just what to do to him next. "Really nice of you to FINALLY notice that." After pushing him into Fang and pushing everyone else around last season you would think being a 'jerk' was as noticeable as her being a GIRL. "In case you didn't realize dumbass, we were put on the VILLAINS team. And you probably have it in your head too that you were supposed to be a hero," she scoffed. Just like Gothball. What a loser. "You need to get a clue. You and me, we're not that different. And if you had any brains you'd play things the same way as I do."

Lightning grimaced and rolled over, sitting up. "I didn't care what side I was on," he growled, sitting up. "It doesn't matter what team you play for, long as you win in the end."

Jo rolled her eyes at him. He was right though, even if they'd stuck her on the hero side she wouldn't care about playing along with it, as long as she got in the game.

"If I played like you, I'd get a giant ball of smoke in my face and everyone against me! Playing the way I did only got me to finals!" And one of the first people voted out that season, but he decided it'd be better to not mention that in his argument. "Lightning doesn't need brains, when he's got these babies to help him out!" These babies, being his biceps, which he then kissed.

"I didn't have everyone against me!" Jo argued, even though she had this sneaking suspicion that he was right. And even if he was right, she wasn't that hard up for everyone's support and acceptance anyway. It wasn't like she was the season pariah anyway, that was Scott. So yeah, she may not have made best friends but she was still alright with most people. "In case you didn't notice, I had plenty of people on my side." People that she manipulated to be on her side. "If it was me in the finals a lot more people would have been cheering for me than were cheering for you." Since she was the only one, and that was somewhat reluctantly.

"Oh yeah, sure, everyone loves Jo! You were in the bottom with me, remember? They wanted you out, and you only saved yourself by getting rid of Lightning! Who would cheer for you if it were you and Cameron, huh? That Rick guy? Sha-yeah, right!"

She wasn't saying that everyone loved her and she didn't even want everyone to like her either! Winning was more important than impressing people. It didn't matter if you left a bunch of crushed people in your wake. Wait. Hadn't that been just what he'd been saying all along? Her eye twitched a little in irritation. "Who the hell is Rick?" Brick? _Was he really that stupid to forget Brick's na... yes he was_. She frowned and crossed her arms. "Okay fine, I wasn't the most popular contestant. Do you think I care? And yeah, if it was between me and Pencil Neck people would have been AFRAID not to cheer for me." Because they'd know what she'd do to them if they didn't ... and it seemed like they were both miserable now. _Way to go Jo._

"People weren't afraid to cheer for me! Not that I cared, though-I've played away games before! Point is, we were both disliked, and we both got kicked off early, because those jerks are morons!"

"Yeah..." what he said really hit her in an uncomfortable place. She was like Lightning. Not in the way of being a complete dimwit but the two of them were really in the same boat here. She sat on the bed again and leaned back on her hands, looking appraisingly at Lightning. "That's quite a good point you made there," she grinned. She was over fighting for the moment.

Her eyes flicked from the handsome jock's face to the room around them. Lightning's stuff was everywhere and some stuff that she was sure he 'borrowed' from the gym. "Really settling in for the long haul, aren't ya?"

"Not like I have a choice," he shrugged, returning the smirk.

She felt a bit accomplished that he was probably feeling better - she was so he had to be. "Soooo, do you want me to leave so you can go back to crying like a baby or do you want to play a game or something?" Or something...

Lightning sighed, and Jo was actually feeling the tension in the room completely disappear, which actually felt like a relief. Maybe it didn't have to be heated competition 100% of the time between them. "You can sha-stay," he said, glancing at the clock which read that it was 10 o' clock sharp. "Don't know what we should do, though-maybe a round of basketball? They have a hoop outside."

"After all those pull-ups you still want to play basketball?" Jo asked with a quirk of her eyebrow. "You're a sucker for punishment Lightning. But if you really want me to kick your ass at something else tonight by all means." She supposed they could theoretically have a relaxed shoot off, but then Jo knew that when it came to something competitive between them nothing actually got relaxed and they'd be trying their best to out-do each other... and they'd probably be yelling at each other again in no time, not that she minded. "Not that I'm not happy about getting another chance to best you sha-loser, but don't you ever relax? You know, watch a movie, play cards, put your feet up?" What did that protein powder to do you anyway? It was probably laced with meth.

"Psh, you kidding? There's no time to rest, ever! Lightning needs to be on his feet, all day, every day! No sha-slowing down!" He punctuated it with a fist pounding his open palm. "Shooting hoops is no problem at all!...unless, you had a better idea?"

Jo resisted the urge to roll her eyes yet again. Yeah, there was definitely something in that stuff he sucked down constantly. Not that she didn't enjoy a good workout, but with the way Lightning went he would have to pass out or go into coronary arrest just to get a break. "I'll do you a deal. Whoever sinks ten out of ten gets to pick the next activity. Anything you want, the other person has to do it." She stuck out her hand to him. She had some choice ideas on how she would spend her winning wager too. Anything would literally mean anything, and she could do some relaxing afterwards at his expense because he was sha-stupid enough to be in her pocket when she played dirty enough to beat him... again.

"You're on," he said finally, shaking her hand as he got up. He picked up a basketball from a shelf covered in other sport paraphernalia, then smirked. "Race you outside!" He called, dashing out of the room. _Really_? He wanted to race there?

Jo was certain she would one-up the desperate meathead where it counted, so she wasn't falling over herself to run out the door. There was no wager on this race outside and therefore no reason for her to bother right now. She already had enough bragging rights and plus, he already had a head start so what was the point? "Yeah, not doing that." Jo called after him, and she got off the bed and kicked at a pair of shorts he left on the floor, smirking. He was such a... man. Lots of guys were 'men', but that's not what she meant. She meant if there was a picture accompanying the word 'man' or 'testosterone' in the dictionary, it would probably be his picture.

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_They just can't let it go already.  
_

_Oh, and the hoops shooting turns super competitive._


	5. Chapter 5: Playing Dirty

_A/N; Jo will stop at nothing to win. Nothing. So yeah, I bring you the next chapter. Enjoy. Oh and StarryOak, we'll bring you over to the Joning side. ;) If there are any other Jock fans out there reading this, let me know what you think!  
_

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Five: Playing Dirty  
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Once she strolled outside, giving him ample time to wonder why she wasn't racing him and over to the basketball half-court she saluted him. "I'm here dumbass. Did you have a nice race with yourself?"

Lightning raised an eyebrow in confusion, the ball was down on the ground and he had evidently just done a little dance to celebrate his 'victory'. "You mean you didn't race? Aw, come on!"

"Yep, didn't race. What was the point? The wager was on the hoops, not on racing around the mansion ten times." Which she could totally do if she needed to.

"I'll still beat you," he boldly declared, picking up the ball and throwing it into the hoop. It rolled on the rim before going in. "Piece of cake!"

Jo almost wanted to question why he had such an obsession with beating her - but really she got it. The need to be the best. She got it more than most people. And she liked that about him. No point in spending time with some weakling who DIDN'T want to be the best. Lightning wasn't the best, not compared to her, but he got pretty close which was an admirable trait.

She grabbed the ball when it bounced from under the hoop, backing up and shooting a perfect shot. First one in. A foot rub via Lightning was pretty much in the bag (and whatever else she could think to torture him with).

"Ha. In your face."

"Psh, lucky shot," Lightning scoffed, picking up the ball and dribbling it for a little bit.

Now to throw him off his game. "Feeling tired yet? If your arms are too tired, I can understand. I mean, those pull ups must have been pretty brutal."

"Sha-please. Lightning never gets tired from exercise, it just gets his sha-drenaline going! Sha-bam!" He stepped back and made a shot, and the ball sailed through the hoop with a satisfying whoosh. He smirked at her, bringing his arms back down. Her mouth drew into a thin, rather put-off line as he easily made the shot

_Huh_. He wasn't tired, was he? Change in strategy then. This was going to be more difficult than she'd envisioned... beating him. She couldn't guarantee that she was going to make every shot but as long as he missed a couple she would have her bases covered. And if her first strategy didn't work then she'd have to keep changing things up until something did work. She wasn't afraid to get physical if possible, anything to win. Jo took her next shot after a few extra moments of concentration. It went in, thankfully. _Two perfects shots in a row! Beat that!_

Then she threw the ball over to Lightning. As the ball came back to him he lined himself up, ready to shoot his second perfect hoop when she said loudly and obnoxiously, "Ugh. That's disgusting. That Lindsay girl is topless over there. Who wants to see that?" Lightning hopefully. He was a guy wasn't he?

"Sha-what?!" His head shot to the mansion as he made the shot...which hit the board and shot back into his face like a boomerang.

"OW! Lindsay was NOT sha-topless!" He glared at his opponent as he collected himself and started for the basketball. "No fair-lemme take the shot again!"

Okay, now she was in it to win it. Sure, she expected him to look... but_ how the hell could he look?!_ It made her feel incredibly self-conscious and hate men all over again. What was wrong with men? Why did they always go for big boobs and nothing in between the ears?

"That WAS fair," she told him. "YOU didn't have to look!" And yeah, there was anger laced in every word.

She took the basketball from him, gripping it too tightly because she was still pissed. Not that she had much reason to be pissed. Lightning was NOT her boyfriend (_thank God!_) and she was trying to trick him.

"Hey!" Lightning narrowed his eyes, making an attempt for the ball, but no luck. With a loud "hmph!" he crossed his arms and glared at Jo.

She tried to line up her shot but she was still bothered intensely by the way Lightning fell for that whole thing.

"Well, what do you expect when a guy hears that-" Lightning was saying.

If she tried to make the shot it was likely she'd blow it. She needed something to get this anger out of her. So she took the ball and threw it hard at the back of Lightning's head. Ah, much better. A little payback was worth it.

"Gah!" He fell forward and then collected himself. "Foul!"

He couldn't cry foul just because he wanted to see that blonde idiot topless. Jo shook her head, still irritated which was an all too familiar feeling around the white-haired jock. "And if you weren't such a 'guy' you would have made that shot."

She scooped up the ball again and made her shot. If he had an issue with her, he could bring it on. So much for them not fighting.

"Gimme that ball-you had your turn!" Lightning cried in vain as the ball went into the net, giving Jo three points.

"Here," she tossed him the ball. She could only imagine if she tried anything like to really flash him to miss a shot... not that she would try it. She didn't want him to laugh at her, she'd pretty much die of embarrassment if he laughed or vomited or did any number of adverse reactions to her exposure.

At least she could let him know why he messed up his last shot. "Testosterone makes you morons, that's the only way you pick someone to date, because you don't want anyone you can talk to anyway." Okay, maybe she was rambling, but it's not like he didn't need to hear it.

But he wasn't listening to her, AGAIN, and he made his shot.

"Yes!"

"Hey Lightning! I'm talking to you!" she shouted. _Tuning her out huh?_

Well it worked as he was throwing her off her game. She lined up her next shot and it bounced off the headboard. Looks like her plan backfired. _Bye, bye footrub._

"Yeah!" He said, pumping his fist. Getting the ball back he dribbled a few times, making another shot-which landed. "Three and three!" Lightning exclaimed proudly, crossing his arms smugly.

Jo was even more annoyed. He was taking the lead and she really needed more sneaky, underhanded tactics to take it back from him. But he was shutting her out, so what was it that she could do? First of all she needed to make her next shot, which she lined up and this time it went in.

_Great_. Now she just had to throw him off _his_ next one. But what could she do? If she pushed him he would cry foul again. She needed him to mess up all on his own. Time was going quickly and she was almost all out of options. Why did he have to shut her out? Her best weapon was always her mouth and now she couldn't use it.

Her brow crinkled. He was about to take another shot. Dammit Lightning. She did NOT want to have to do this but pretty much the only options she had right now were to flash him or kiss him. Which one was less humiliating?

Jo stood in front of him.

"This is going to hurt me a lot more than it is going to hurt you, Jockstrap."

She closed her eyes, sucked up the courage and had one hand to lift up the edge of her sweatshirt, thrusting it up in one quick moment, and the other hand up under her sports bra that went up too, she waited until the damage was done before she pulled them back down again... and if he told ANYONE about this she was going to put him in hospital.

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_Yes, Jo did the unthinkable. _

_But winning is worth it.  
_


	6. Chapter 6: Going Too Far

_A/N; Good to know you're reading the Joning stuff too Jock shipper! Though I did do Jock for my other 'Nothing Like the First Time' fic. That was the longest drabble on there too. But while I think Jock is 'cute', it'd be a little one-sided and Brick's fuzzy sweetness would make Jo want to gag.  
_

_But these two (Lightning and Jo) are both jerks... as you will see in this chapter, Jo brings her nasty... not that Lightning doesn't deserve it._

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Six: Going Too Far  
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As Lightning took aim for his next shot Jo suddenly stood in front of him, which temporarily pulled Lightning out of his zone. "Hey-what are you-!"

Lightning's mouth hung open in shock, transfixed until the gray clothing covered Jo's body again. He stood there for two minutes and then shaking his head, he aimed again, but as he threw the ball he fumbled, causing him to miss the hoop by a foot.

_Ha. Ha!_ Jo watched with satisfaction as Lightning fumbled his shot. _Sweet, sweet victory._ Too bad it had to take her showing him her goods. But it wasn't like anyone was around, and surely there were no cameras out here, right? Right?!

She took control of the ball again. "You should have listened to me when I said testosterone made you stupid," she commented, easily sailing the ball in for another shot.

She guessed it was comforting that if Lightning tried to tell anyone what happened they probably wouldn't believe him because he was stupid and easily mistaken. So she had that to her advantage. And she was no Lindsay but at least it did the trick. Jo was starting to feel smug and overly confident. She tossed the ball back to him. "You're up, sha-pervert." And ha yet again.

She was still a winner.

He lined up his shot, and winced. "Gah!" he cried, shaking his head. Obviously Lightning was struggling with his focus, Jo could tell Lightning's own confident demeanor was starting to waver. Jo couldn't believe how well her plan had worked.

But he readied himself again and he took his shot...which made it in. Lightning let out a sigh of relief.

And obviously she would have to work harder to throw him completely off his game.

She had five. _Half way to victory._ She concentrated on lining up her next shot which sailed in. _Six._

Yeah, she played on the girl's basketball team at her school but she got reprimanded for 'bad sportsmanship', whatever the hell that meant. They were all big girls, they could handle a bit of bossing around on the court right? _Wrong._ Jo used their weaknesses against them and got kicked off the team. Clearly no one at her school cared enough about winning.

"Still think I'm a guy Meat for Brains?" Her voice was mocking and cruel. Was he even listening to her this time? She came up behind him and got right in his ear, lowering her tone to just above a whisper. "I'm going to crush you." _Psychological warfare._

"Not today you're not!" He cried, preparing the shot.

_Damnit_. She knew he would respond too well if she started complimenting him, he wasn't smart enough to question if she was doing it sarcastically.

He straightened up as it sailed in, nearly tying the two - five to six.

Glaring at Jo, Lightning caught the ball and tossed it to her. "You're up," he said.

She caught the ball and her mind was full, thinking of how to take him down. In her intense concentration she missed the mark by a fraction of an inch and the ball smacked the rim.

"Damnit!" she said aloud this time. Even score. Why wasn't anything working? Except flashing him and there was no way she was going to do that again. She let him collect the ball to get ready to shoot. "You suck Lightning," she commented all bad sportswoman like. But insulting him wasn't enough to take him down. _What was?_

Lightning was as unsportsmanlike as Jo, laughing cockily as she missed her shot. "Ha! Not as good as you thought, huh?"

As he made his next shot, it landed in again. Now they were tied.

"Beat that!" he declared, smirking as he picked up the ball and spun it on his finger for show before tossing it to Jo. "Got any more tricks up your sleeve?"

It was supposed to be a simple competition shooting hoops, but Lightning always made things more impassioned for Jo and it was a simple competition no more. She really did want to crush him and even more now that he was heckling her back, and no matter how cruel or threatening she got he would just not back down. If this was Brick or anyone else they would have seen how serious she was making this and backed the heck off. But Lightning was too dumb to realize that he was dealing with a hormonal Jo, fueled by that flush of shame who really meant to crush him like a bug, whatever it took.

"You know winning this little game of hoops isn't going to make your daddy proud of you," Jo said scathingly. Gloves were off. She took her shot, landed it and threw him the ball with Hulk like force, hitting Lightning hard in the gut. "You know he's probably going to disown you for losing Total Drama twice. Wow. How about that? Where do you think you'll live when he kicks you out?" That'll teach him not to cross her.

Lightning looked up at the hoop...and frowned. Then he made a half-assed shot, which missed the rim entirely and sent the ball unceremoniously to the ground.

Okay, Jo had known she had hit low with that one. She felt an empty pit in her stomach of both guilt and shame when she saw him miss and after everything she'd just heard from him too, using what he'd opened up to her about really was a whole new low.

When the ball hit the ground she actually wondered if it was because he was doing a ploy himself, to throw her off by making her feel this clawing guilt and it was working... it took her a little longer to remember that was too smart of a ploy for the likes of Lightning.

"What was that?" she snapped. "What? Can't handle losing?" Not this game but Total Drama. Now the footrub wouldn't even be worth it... all this guilt. Jo grabbed the ball and held it to her. "Is this where I have to feed your ego and tell you how you're more of a winner than everyone left on our team and that I think you're better than them. Because if you think I'm going to do that, I'm not." she smirked because she'd already just done that by saying it, she just wouldn't have to cop to it now. "Are we going to do this or not?"

"Forget it," he said angrily as he turned to start for the Playa. Then he said two words she never thought she'd hear him say ever: "I quit."

Okay, now she was REALLY feeling guilty. Jo had done some pretty low things in her time for the sake of the game but this was right up there with the worst. Not even the flashing him earlier was this bad! And now she had to even out the score. Not the game score... but the personal score of using his family pressure against him like that. Apparently he didn't get her thinly veiled attempt at rebuilding his ego. Geez, male egos were like the most fragile thing in the universe which was why she usually got satisfaction in crushing them... but this time it was not so fun.

So she did what she had to do and ran after him, ball tucked under one arm. Reluctantly Lightning halted, glaring at her out of the corner of his eye as he didn't want to turn around.

Part of her wanted to say she was sorry but she just couldn't get the words out.

"I don't like losing either," was what she did spit out... like that was the revelation of the century. "That's why we don't-" she sighed. "Don't get along. Because neither of us wants to give the other the victory. And that's why I said that just then," she grabbed his arm. Trying to get him to stop or slow down and just listen to her. "And that's why I hate you so much, because you're like me and I want to win, even if it means people letting me win which you will never do." Which probably meant very little to this doofus next to her. "I'm-" sorry. One word. Why couldn't she say it? "We're both out here, Lightning. Booted to club loser over here. And to tell you the truth, I'm glad you're here because I know you're not a loser. You're a winner. And if you're here, and I'm here then it must mean I'm not a loser either." _Sort of._

Was this whole rant even going to work? Because if it didn't she was going to have to do something really embarrassing here...

"Jo. I-" Lightning turned to face her, and then turned back away. "Talk to me tomorrow...I'm done tonight." With that he started for the stairs, but stopped. Then shaking his head he started up to his room.

The damage she'd caused was serious. And he didn't get to just be 'done'. He didn't get to just back off because he felt bad. That wasn't how it worked. If he left the guilt would get to her, she'd probably end up working out in the gym all night just to distract herself and killing her body overnight wouldn't make up for the mental gymnastics she'd do in order to feel like she hadn't done anything wrong. And Jo would just end up having to admit that she was miserable because every time she could have a potential ally in Lightning she screwed him six ways from Sunday. And it was her fault people hated her.

"Ugghh," she groaned aloud, just knowing she had to stop him from entering that room if she was going to get any peace tonight.

She ran up the stairs taking them two at a time and to his room before he got there, arms crossed and ready to hold her ground with her back against the door.

"You don't get to be 'done'," she told him with annoyance in her tone. "Fine. I was stupid okay. Which makes the ratio of me to you doing stupid things still 1:1000 but still..." Okay, he wouldn't get that. "I didn't expect you of all people to have feelings like a girl." She wasn't going well with this.

Lightning slowed, and stopped walking as she blocked his door. "Can't I just go for right now?" he asked wearily. "I'll think about it tomorrow."

She had to even the score. Embarrassment for embarrassment. She ran a hand through her hair. "Look, dumbass. I was pissed with you earlier," in the game, "because that dumb blond Lindsay was the type of girl you'd want to spy changing and..." her face was heating up and she just wanted to shove her own head in a toilet right about now. "Jealous, okay, I was jealous." Still better than saying she was sorry. "So, are we cool?"

But then a change happened. Lightning smiled and nodded. "We're cool," he said cheerfully.

_Okay what the heck?_ Jo was hoping what she said would make a difference to him but she wasn't expecting a complete turnaround from a grumpy, sore loser to a cheery, dumb grin. She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious. What the hell was that all about? Sometimes she wondered what was going through that idiotic head of his.

She glared at him harder, as if she was trying to read his mind which she knew was impossible and then shook her head. "You are such a brainless wonder, Powder Puff," she finally settled on saying. Jo was relieved that now all that guilt at bringing up his daddy issues was gone... but she was still weird about what caused the dramatic change. Saying she was jealous can't have affected him that badly.

"Just because you threw a tantrum and quit the game doesn't mean that we're going to do what you wanted to do if you won. We can call it a draw - because I'm not going to make you rub my feet either. But I'm going to get something from the kitchen and put my feet up because it's been a long, and stupid day. You can come along if you like, or you can sulk in your bedroom. It suits me either way."

And so she pushed off the door and went back to the stairs to start going down them and to the kitchen, not checking if he was going to follow.

...But she was a little disappointed when she reached the kitchen and found out she was alone. Who needed him anyway? Not her. She was better company than he was and it was fine spending the rest of the night with her own best friend - herself.

_Lightning sucked._

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_Jo has every right to be suspicious_

_...because Lightning has jumped to all the wrong conclusions_

_And hilarity will ensue._


	7. Chapter 7: A Sha-Peace Offering

_A/N; We're kind of getting close to where we're still up to with the RP. Ah, Jo. She has different standards for herself than for everyone else. She's kind of a jerk like that.  
_

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Seven: A Sha-Peace Offering  
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Jo had spent a relaxing rest of the evening in peace, her conscience cleared and no excess baggage in the stupidity department hanging around like a bad smell. She still held unto Lightning's ball (if it was even his) and was hoping to see him that morning to return it or to see if he was still being weird. There was no way he wasn't dropped on his head as a baby, probably repeatedly. Nobody went from sulking because daddy would punish his constant failure to grinning like an idiot the next second. Nobody normal anyway.

She had gone to his room, knocked on the door but he wasn't there. So she tried the next best option for his potential location - the gym.

And in fact, Lightning was in the gym, attempting to press at least 100 lb or so it seemed. Then he did something strange. Setting the weights down he sat up and pulled ten onto each side, then started lifting again, with a bit more difficulty.

Jo knew he must've heard her but he just got to work building up his weights to a size that would probably put anybody else in a coma. And she had to admit she was impressed. While Lightning's muscle mass was a source of taunting for her, it was still something she actually admired. Put him ahead of the pack in her opinion. And it wasn't like his body wasn't attractive in any way, the unattractive part was that he knew it!

She let out an appreciative whistle. "Nice Jockstrap. Good to see you aren't using the girly weights today..." She grinned at him, still holding the ball under her arm.

Setting the weights down on the bar he sat up, smirking back at her. "Not today," he said, "In fact I'll probably do another sha-twenty before tonight."

Another twenty? She scoffed. "Are you sure you can even COUNT to twenty this time?" Or was he just going to do another three and call it twenty?

"Lightning may not be able to count numbers, but he can deal with weights!"

Jo rolled her eyes. He got stupider by the second. "Then why stop at twenty? Why not do two thousand?" since he didnt want to deal with numbers. He would probably just do it until his arms ached anyways.

Then she saw his eyes fall to the ball. "What," he asked. "Want a rematch?"

He must have had the memory of a goldfish. _Another rematch_? After what happened last night?! It was a relief if he really did forget. After flashing her goods to get ahead and using his insecurity about his father to make him quit the game, it wasn't Jo's finest moment.

"Seriously?" she barked. "I'm just here to return it and then getting out in the pool for some laps. You can do whatever you want with the ball." Like stick it where the sun don't shine.

He shrugged in response to Jo, grinning. "You can keep the ball, if you want," he said.

Okay that was puzzling. Keep the ball? He wasn't the type to give her anything, except a pain in the neck. "What? You feel like you owe me for putting up with you?" She lightly touched the back of her neck.

"Eh, keep it," he insisted. "Think of it as a... a sha-peace...thingie. From me to you." he paused for a second. Peace offering? She supposed she deserved a peace offering, even though really she'd been the one to screw him over most times, except when he voted her off and if she was honest she kinda saw that coming. Not that she wanted the dumb ball but the gesture was nice. Well it had been nice until he told her what it was for.

"For, you know, last night?"

She turned bright red, half embarrassment and half anger. What the heck? Because she flashed him?! She wasn't... she didn't do that to get something out of him! She wasn't one of those types who got naked to get free crap. She had just wanted to win. Her hand was shaking and she grabbed the ball and threw it at his face as hard as she could. _Ugh_! She threw her hands up in the air.

"I don't want your dumb ball and I don't want anything from you. Gee, you really think I did that last night because I wanted your ball? Or your gratitude? Clue up Lightning!" She wanted to win!

"Ow. What was that for?!" He demanded, sitting back up and shaking his head to get the pain out. "I was talking about all the fighting," he snapped, rubbing the back of his head and wincing. "You didn't have to go all Shambo on me!"

Okay, maybe she'd jumped to conclusions. But when he said last night' her mind immediately went to what she'd stupidly done to protect her winning position. "Oh," and now she felt like the dunce and she felt her face heat up again. "Yeah, the fighting."

Which was why it was called a 'peace offering'. Maybe his stupidity was rubbing off on her. Jo went to reclaim the ball which had bounced over to the corner of the room and then held it up sheepishly. "Thanks Lightweight."

Sure, she didn't need the ball but she could hardly reject it now after smashing Lighting in the face with it. She had too much pride to ask if he was okay, but she still was embarrassed for the uncalled for case of 'going Rambo'. When people were nice to Jo it usually just made her awkward more than anything.

Lightning sat there for a while seemingly out of it, and finally he looked up at Jo. "So...uh..." Wow. She had really damaged him by throwing the ball that hard at his face. Jo looked back at him with a trace of concern. Normally she'd tell him to spit it out but since she caused the damage she was patient. "Uh...sleep well?"

Lightning never acted like he cared enough about details of her life before.

"Yeah, you know, the usual. It's not like its not comfortable here... what about you? More dreams of winning the Superbowl?" Jo never figured out if it was annoying or cute that Lightning talked in his sleep. Perhaps it was even more annoying that she found it cute.

"Dreams?" He blinked. "Can't say I did-not tonight, anyway."

"You know, the pool is big enough, if you wanted to tag along. Big enough that you'd still be out of my way." Because she didn't need him getting in the way of her laps, but she supposed he wasn't the worst person to keep around. "And that was an invitation Dimwit. Take it or leave it."

Just to be clear. _See_? She could be 'nice' too. Jo spun on her heel and left the gym to go and get changed.

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_They're getting there... there's a lot of boundaries that have been slowly breaking down.  
_


	8. Chapter 8: A Cannonball of a Revelation

_A/N; It's always one step forward two steps back with Jo and Lightning. But this chapter is another step forward, so expect it to be reversing about in the next one. Jo is deep in denial, as usual. If she didn't like him she wouldn't hate him so much, right? And thanks to everyone that keeps reviewing!  
_

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Eight: A Cannonball of a Revelation  
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Jo didn't know what she was doing, if this was just because she pitied him because of last night or what... because she didn't envision spending all her free time outside the competition with THAT moronic jock that she despised. She hadn't envisioned getting out of the competition this early either though. And she supposed that he hadn't called her a guy yet, so there was that. If he did something like that she'd have to shut him out for the rest of however long they were here for. Or at least try to...

She got changed into her grey boy-legged swimmers, brought a pair of goggles and nose plugs with her well, as they were needed for serious swimming and went out to the pool. Jo wasn't surprised to see the other resident idiot whose name began with L sitting by the poolside tanning. She had girly stuff over her eyes and she was holding up a magazine that she was obviously pretending to read. At least by having her around Lightning looked like a freaking genius. Jo grimaced and stuck in her nose plugs, put on her goggles and eased into the water, beginning her laps.

Lightning came out, looking cocky as always. He gave that trademark smirk and moved to the other side of the pool where Jo had the perfect vantage point of him. "Sha-CANNONBALL!" He cried, taking off on a run and jumping into the water with a loud splash.

And of course had to announce his presence... and jump in, creating waves where she was. Jo stopped her swimming irritably. Apparently the pool WASN'T big enough for them to share. Pulling out her nose plugs and off her goggles she glared at him, after waiting for him to surface.

"What part of 'I'm going to do laps' did you not get?" All of it. The part where he kept to himself like a pretty little statue and didn't cross her. Did they need to make individual zones here?

"Ummm," Lindsay answered. "I don't get it." She turned her magazine sideways with her eyes still covered.

Jo snorted a laugh. "Not talking to you, Life-sized Barbie." _Moron_.

Lightning grinned smugly, shrugging. "Hey! You didn't say anything about no diving! Besides, you were wet anyway."

Jo locked eyes with Lightning and shook her head. "Hey Lightning, I think Lindsay over here would like a dip in the pool. How about you give her the Sha-cannonball treatment?" After all, what was the point in having the quarterback around if you couldn't manipulate him to do what you wanted?

Lightning grinned evilly. Swimming over to the side he started running, evidently forgetting the fact that you aren't supposed to run when wet, which caused him to fall flat on his face. However, he attempted to play it off by going into something of a somersault, then got up. _What was he DOING?_ Jo watched as he went toward Lindsay and then fell on his face. He ducked and rolled all commando style and then went to the board, the diving board that was conveniently a few feet from the ditzy blonde. Seconds later he was at the top of the board, and dove into the pool with a swan dive.

Jo crossed her arms with and unimpressed stare in his direction. Yeah sure that swan dive was impressive, but she wasn't going to bow to how awesome he thought he was. She just wanted them to team up and get Lindsay.

When Lightning emerged from the water she spoke to him, "I know she's as dense as a board Bozo, but that was NOT what I meant when I told you to give Beauty Queen over there the cannonball treatment."

_Did he not listen to orders anymore? Was she losing her touch? Did she have to fool him with promises of a trophy or some crap to get him to just do what she said?!_ Maybe Lightning was just as dead weight as ever. If she couldn't use him to do her bidding then what was the point of him?

"What? You mean it didn't splash her?"

And there was her lesson to be more clear when ordering Lightning to do ANYTHING. She meant to throw her in the water not to splash her!

Undeterred Lightning pulled himself out of the pool and once again made his way to the diving board, he stepped back and ran to the edge of the board, jumping and bringing his knees to his chest. This time there came a satisfying splash much like the one from before, leading the brainless blonde letting out a cry of disgust.

Jo rolled her eyes and then grinned when Lightning's next attempt got water all over Little Miss Tans-a-lot.

Lightning resurfaced, saw his handiwork, and burst into laughter.

Jo grinned even wider when she saw Lightning laughing over it. Okay, even though he hadn't done exactly what she had asked, his heart was still in the right place... the place of mocking others. Sometimes there were things about the dumb jock that made her heart flutter. He still irritated her 90% of the time like a pair of chafing underwear but seeing him jerkishly douse Lindsay with water almost made up for it.

Jo swam over to him while keeping her head above water. "Nice one, Lightweight. But maybe she needs to be actually thrown in the water to get the point that this is a tan free zone, if you know what I mean."

_That was more specific._

"Nice sha-dea!" He snickered, once more pulling himself out of the water.

Lindsay looked up at him, scanning him. "Tyler? Is that you? When did you get a tan?" She didn't seem to shocked when he lifted her up, thinking that he was her boyfriend.

"Tyler? Nope, I'm Lightning. And you...are gonna get wet!"

"Huh? I don't ge-eek!"

The blonde girl hit the water, and Lightning crossed his arms while cracking up again.

NOW this was perfect. And Jo thought if Lightning wasn't such a dumbass with a problem with letting her win he just might be perfect for he- _be perfect as a scapegoat to keep around that was!_ She didn't do sappy romantic stuff and she certainly didn't look at Lightning of all people as a potential suitor or something!

While she laughed a little, satisfied with getting what she wanted, her eyes were a little more transfixed on him. Why did she keep forgetting this less annoying side to the jock? Okay, maybe deep down there was a SMALL part of her that liked a SMALL part of him. But it was no big deal. It wasn't like she liked all of him.

Regardless of this new revelation Jo still needed to have the last laugh. It was how she worked. So she pulled herself out of the water, padded over to Lightning and gave him a mighty push into the pool. Now this was going to REALLY be funny.

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_They're cute when they work as a team.  
_


	9. Chapter 9: Power Couples and Spas

_A/N; Okay, we're getting back up to where we are in the RP. So this is catching up time. Poor Jo, all these conflicting feelings and Lightning is just too dumb to catch on. Oh, and Lightning had some good reasons for picking her in this chapter as well, it's just too bad you don't see Lightning's POV too.  
_

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Nine: Power Couples and Spas  
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WOAH!" Lightning landed in the water and popped up seconds later. As water started coming out of his nose he glared up at Jo.

Yeah, that was as funny as she had thought it was going to be, especially that disgruntled glare he'd shot her. She was doubled over, holding her sides and brought her hand up to wipe away a tear that was forming at all the amusement she was having at his expense.

"Hellooooooo?" Lindsay cried, flapping her arms like a bird in the water. "Weren't you going to like, take me back out of here? It's getting cold."

Jo slipped back in the water and gave a warning motion to Lightning as she moved over toward him. "Don't you dare put her back. Let's see if she can find her own way back. It isn't rocket science."

Lindsay pouted and stopped flapping her arms. "That's not funny, Jane. How am I supposed to know how to get back on land again?"

Jo gave Lindsay a flat look, leaning her arms back on the edge of the pool behind her. "You're kidding me right?"

"Ummmm... No? I really don't know how to get back."

"Yeah, how about we leave Malibu Barbie to figure this one out on her own Lightning. Let's go to the other side of the pool... we can watch her be an idiot from there." Jo grinned at Lightning. Yeah, Lindsay was still making Lightning look like a genius. Jo hoped someone with more IQ points would be the next eliminated with them. "So who do you think will be making the flush tonight?" Jo asked Lightning as she started floating away from Lindsay.

"Who's going next?" He was deep in thought. "Ezekiel."

Jo quirked an eyebrow at his response. "Ezekiel?" Was he even being serious? "News flash Bozo, Freaky Zekey was only brought in as a joke. I know you were only there for a night but I would've thought you'd clued into the fact that the home-schooled goblin didn't actually compete in the challenges."

Lightning was so dimwitted sometimes that it hurt... well, hurt HIM for having to think so hard about things.

"What do you mean, Zeke's not competing?" Lightning sat himself onto the side of the pool and crossed his arms. "He was in the plane, right? That means he is a sha-fficial competitor, who hasn't done anything for the team since Day One!"

"Yeah and Chris said he was kidding about the feral runt. Were you even listening? Or were you hung up on how you looked in front of the cameras?" _As usual._

Jo couldn't even imagine what it'd be like to be so focused on how you appeared to others. What a waste! And sure she wanted to appear as fierce competition to everyone else but it didn't matter if her hair was all out of place while doing so.

Lightning rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. Chris didn't mention that! Our team's so dumb, we let him go missing for three whole challenges now!" Nothing Jo could say would convince Lightning that he was wrong-or get him to admit it, if he actually found out that Ezekiel really wasn't a competitor. "He should've been the first to go, not Lightning!"

Sometimes Jo didn't know if the dumb jock could possibly be being serious but apparently he was. She gave him the 'what are you stupid?' look that she had mastered specifically for him and then let it go. If he wanted to believe Ezekiel was running around the island trying to get on their team that was his problem.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're really that clueless or if its just an act so people will feel sorry for you." But the sad thing was that it wasn't an act... back to the topic at hand. "My money's on Heather. There's no way our team will want HER bossing them around now that I'm gone..." Jo thought about this a little more. "But we just lost two in a row so the heroes are probably out. I pick Multiple Mike to join us. The heroes don't want a nutjob on their team, and really what did he even do last season?" Jo hadn't found any use for him. "Crazy plus pathetic equals goner. Do the math."

"Did you just say Heather because of a grudge?" Like he could talk to her about grudges. "She's a pretty tough competitor-heck she managed to knock me out last season. You remember, you were kicked out in that one!"

Of course Lightning hadn't really meant it as a jab, but being the idiot he was it came out sounding wrong. And Jo had been about to laugh about Heather knocking Lightning out until he had to put in that jab about her being eliminated. Jo supposed it was her own fault. She'd dumped the dumb quarterback for an alliance with Pencil Neck and he stabbed her in the back.

"Puh-lease. Heather pisses everyone off, its only because she manages to get immunity that she ever scrapes through... and she didn't go to Boney island." People knew Heather by now and the two stupid people were gone. Surely everyone knew better than to keep her in. She waded in the water next to the edge of the pool and looked up at Lightning.

"Well, but doesn't she have that boyfriend guy of hers? You know, the robot who can't walk?" Alejandro. Of course he'd forget, having only been there for one night. "If the Heroes go home, I'd get rid of that Courtney chick, or Sam-maybe even Zoey."

"Yeah, Alejandro. At least the Spaniard didn't try to flirt with me this season or he would have had another thing coming." Jo was a little pissed that he didn't even try to flirt with her though.

Lightning just shrugged in response.

"Eh, at least Zoey got to the final three last year. Mike and Sam? Whose brilliant idea was it to bring THEM back?" All-Stars? Jo thought not. "If you're going to do that you may as well bring back Chatty McGee from our first elimination."

Never mind of course that Mike had been kicked off only one episode before she did.

"Eh, maybe they were going for an underdog thing? Or, meh. I don't care. Even Rick deserved to be there more."

He was calling Brick Rick again? _Really?_ "If it was underdogs we wouldn't be here Genius."

Jo pulled herself up onto the side of the pool beside the quick drying Lightning and looked over at Lindsay still flailing in the water. Ugh. Surrounded by good looking idiots. Her life was cursed.

"Power couples always sha-suck. I wanted to barf each time I saw Mike and Zoey."

So that's why he thought they brought back Mike, just because of being part of a couple. He had a point. "Nice catch Lightning. I never would have seen Mike and Zoey as a power couple though since both of them are so lame but Chris does think couples have more drama and crap, so I wouldn't be surprised." Jo pursed her lips, staring at the glistening drops of water on his chest for perhaps an instant too long. "Sooo..." she tried to act like she wasn't all that interested but she knew by asking what was on her mind she was opening up herself to be irritated by his response. "Who would you start a 'power couple' with on this stupid show if you could pick anyone? Pencil Neck right?" Her choice would be him obviously but only because everyone else sucked.

"Penci-Cameron?! No way! Lightning don't swing like that!" Jo wanted to laugh at him for that dig about Cameron, not that the bubble boy was much of a man, but y'know... he was still a guy... barely... and then Lightning went back into thinking mode. "Hm..."

And then she realized she REALLY shouldn't have asked that question because he was leaning in closer as if to tell her a secret (probably about Lindsay's boobs being the Dimwit that he was) and her heart rate had sped up a million miles a minute... and _stupid guys!_ She did not like feeling like this.

"Um..." he leaned closer to the jockette. "You, I guess. I mean, yeah, you."

Then when he said her she felt light headed enough to pass out. Of course she quickly realized he must have been joking at her expense because why else would he pick her and then TELL her about it? And she felt stupid for the split second she believed it and for the way her body was acting around him that she had absolutely no control over. Her heart still hammered in her chest and she felt this prickly uncomfortableness creeping up her neck.

She blinked a couple of times and then frowned and pushed Lightning back into the pool.

"Woah!"

"Not funny Brightning." He was such a dumbass but there was no way she'd let it show how much he was toying with her feelings like that.

Lightning swam back up to the surface, looking at Jo in shock. "I'm serious!" He cried.

"How could you be-" she started, completely riled up now. He couldn't be serious.

Indignant, he grabbed her arm and pulled her in with him.

"-Wah!" Until he pulled her in the pool too. She surfaced and brushed her wet hair aside where it was getting in her eye. And her face felt hot. She was flattered... and knew where he was coming from.

"You suck the least out of everyone else! Stop playing these sha-mindgames!"

She cleared her throat. "Yeah, uh, you too. I mean, you suck slightly less than everyone else. Don't think it'd be because I actually..." Like him? She stared at him for another moment too long. _Damnit!_ She hated the way he kept making her feel self conscious and everything. _Stupid handsome jock. _

"Hah! Lightning always wins!" He shouted victoriously.

_Stupid handsome oblivious jock._

But thankfully Lindsay interrupted them. "Ewww, like, go get a spa or something."

Jo spun her head around to the blonde who was now floating in the middle of the pool, apparently forgetting about getting out. And _ow,_ now her neck hurt. "What?!"

"A spa. No one does it in a room anymore. Like duh."

What the hell was she even talking about? _Do it? Do what? Ohhhh._ Jo's face burned even hotter. _Someone just kill her now._

"Wait-do what? Why do we need a spa?" Then it dawned on him. Jo hoped he wouldn't figure it out. She REALLY hoped he wouldn't figure it out. Surely that little pea brain of his wasn't smart enough to put two and two together. "Are you talking about having sex?" He called as if Lindsay was a mile away.

Except then he did figure it out and Jo had never felt so humiliated. She wasn't giving any vibes was she? Vibes that she'd actually want to do THAT with HIM of all people. Jo tried to recover from feeling all flustered and embarrassed and hit Lightning in the arm.

"Shut up, idiot!"

Yeah, sure he was just paraphrasing what Lindsay said but they weren't going to talk about having sex EVER. Or mention it. It didn't matter how many people were around, Jo didn't care. She wanted it all to be off limits as far as Lightning was concerned because she didn't think about him like that... at all.

Lightning grabbed his arm, looking at Jo in confusion before submerging in water, then resurfacing as he'd forgotten to float. "What was that for?!"

Jo winced. "What was that for?" _Yelling about having sex all over the Playa for one thing!_

"I was just asking a question!"

"Yes, that's usually what people mean when they say 'do it'," Jo hissed at him in irritation. Honestly, it was like having to explain the birds and the bees to a child. "Not that Tans-a-Lot knows anything, I mean it's not like I ever would... with YOU of all people." Jo rolled her eyes.

Even though maybe, just maybe the thought had crossed her mind, ONCE, just because she was wondering how incompetent he would be in all other areas of life... well... he was barely competent in a few areas of life. So there was that.

Lightning frowned, still not understanding. "Fine, whatever, why would we even have sex?" Then his eyes darted around trying to save himself from looking like a moron that didn't get anything. "Heh. You know-cuz, we hate each other, and don't like each other." He let out a sigh of relief, going back to the side of the pool.

"Yeah," Jo's heart dropped. Just a second ago it seemed he had said she would be the only one he would 'power couple' with... whatever that meant... and now... It didn't matter, she'd hated him since he kept calling her a guy last season and that was never going to change. That idiot was right for once.

She didn't know what she was thinking, entertaining the possibility that maybe something between them was going to be different. And why? Just because they were both stuck here like losers with nowhere else to be? That meant that Lightning would finally start seeing her as a girl for once? Yeah right...

She watched him, feeling depressed and annoyed all at once and she was sick of this emotional roller-coaster the dumb jock had her on. Though it was her own fault for not being able to better control herself around him.

"Look, I've had enough of your company for now, Jockstrap." As he'd said, they didn't like each other. What was she doing 'hanging out' with him like this? It only made her confused, when it had always been so easy before to detest his very being. "And I wasn't swimming anyway," not since he'd shown up. She swam over to the side of the pool to collect her things and pulled herself up out of the water.

_She was better than this._

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_And now we're at two steps back again...  
_

_Ah, Jo, how long will you stay in denial for?_


	10. Chapter 10: Reminiscing and Gender Roles

_A/N; This moves through the first episode of ROTI rather quickly. Including Jo and Lightning's first hilarious interaction. But there are breakthroughs happening. Next chapter is a big one... Ooooohhh.  
_

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Ten: Reminiscing and Gender Roles  
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Jo had managed to successfully avoid Lightning for the rest of the day, and she didn't know why she was being so paranoid. What did it matter if she ran into him? She'd already decided she was better than him. It wasn't until later, when the sun had went down and she was relaxing in front of the big TV that she spotted him and by then she was over her whole avoiding thing.

She raised her head slightly to indicate a greeting to him.

"Hey Lame-ning. You gonna sit down or just stand there?" she looked pointedly from him to the spot on the couch next to her and back to him again. There was no reason not to be normal with him again... it wasn't like she expected him to actually want to sleep with him so it was no harm no foul, not really.

"Oh-yeah," he replied, walking over and taking a seat next to her. "You watching anything good?"

"Nope," Jo replied, but at least she had control of the remote. All she cared about was having control of things and so having the remote made everything better. It meant she got the choice. "They have pretty much everything that pathetic host Chris has ever done here," Jo rolled her eyes.

Talking about common ground was good, she could ignore the whole thing that had happened before. "If I wanted to watch Chris make an ass of himself I'd have done it already. But nobody wants to see that." Except that crazy stalker girl Sierra at the best Jo could recall from the season she was in. "But they do have all the past seasons of Total Drama," Jo raised both eyebrows and smirked at Lightning. "Including last season..."

Of course he would have the ego to watch.

"You wanna watch it? Last season, I mean," he asked, easing back into the seat.

"I dunno, I guess it's better than watching whatever else they have here."

Well, there were a few movies that weren't too bad she supposed. She'd watch them later on, maybe she'd come down here if she couldn't sleep and put one on. Sometimes she just couldn't unwind. Her mind would be going too fast and she couldn't chill out enough to sleep. It was something she had to deal with. Normally a nice jog would clear her head, but watching something as mind numbing as some as those movies there might do the trick too.

She guessed watching the season with him wouldn't be half bad, except for where she looked stupid, which was rare. Jo got up and found the DVD in the pile that Lindsay must have taken out and not put back (she probably couldn't work out how to work the player) and stuck it in, leaving the remote on her side of the couch as she did so.

When she came back she sat a little closer to Lightning this time, her heart hammering and refusing to look in his direction, just at the screen. She pointed the remote at the DVD player and pressed play a couple of times, and it went straight through to the first episode. She breathed slowly, daring to, and hoping he wasn't going to make a big deal over how much she was 'cozying up' to him.

"Hey! There's Lightning!" He called like a child, pointing to himself on the screen. "Before I got my white hair, too!"

He didn't care about the whole being closer to her thing, apparently. She could feel him shift somewhat, his arm resting on the couch behind her. If she wanted to delude herself enough it was almost like this was a date, except it wasn't remotely in any way since he didn't really want to be close to her and they weren't together entirely by choice right now.

As Jo watched the screen it all came flooding back to her.

Then came Cameron, and then there came Brick... "Hey, they got it wrong. His name's not Brick, it's sha-Rick!"

All their lame-o fellow contestants, and then that bomb on the boat. Dumb move McLean. Except it wasn't dumb for her and Dumbass beside her here, because they were already ahead of the pack.

"I still don't even know how she does that crap," Jo said, talking about Dawn since she was the only one who beat her to get onto the island. That levitation junk was cheating! She shouldn't have even been able to do that.

"Maybe they were pulling her along with strings," he commented. "You know, like in Peter Pan?"

"Somehow I don't think the interns were doing it all for the cameras. I was there, she was just sitting there as if she'd just beamed herself from the boat to the shore." Whatever, wasn't her problem now.

"Huh."

And then it was the race to see who got to be team captain. She was almost neck a neck with Lightning the whole way and then she just beat him going over the line. And _then_ it was the first time it happened. She had said 'sorry you had to lose to a girl' and Lightning said 'what girl?' and 'Lightning didn't lose bro, Lightning never loses'.

As soon as that part was on the screen Jo punched him on the arm again and pointed at the screen. "You see THAT. That is the reason why I-" okay, making it about everyone else would be better. "I mean, why EVERYONE hated you last season. I clearly beat you and I'm clearly a girl, you pea brain."

"OW!" He rubbed his arm and then things grew quiet between them.

"I'm sorry."

But then Jo's eyes bugged. He said those two little words that she never thought she'd hear.

"Sorry, I thought you were a guy."

Her mouth dropped open and she dropped the remote too, leaving the episode to just continue playing through. She wasn't even looking at the screen now, she was looking directly at him. "You're...?"

_What the hell?_ Lightning had never cared about her getting offended by it before. And it made her uncomfortable, the whole apology thing, because she wasn't one for apologizing and neither was he. It was just weird.

"Look, just forget about it Lightning. Bygones." And now she wanted to apologize or some crap too. This is what happened when you started having feeli- _wait, no_. She did NOT having feelings for Lightning. She brought up a leg to the couch and rested her arm over it. "I'm sorry for getting you booted this season. Not that you didn't deserve it, but yeah, I'm sorry about it."

"You were playing the game," he replied. "But didn't you try making an alliance with me? Why'd that fall through?"

Jo sighed. Yeah, the _alliance_, if you could call it that. They'd both agreed to stay out of each other's way until the merge.

"Look, you won last season Lightning, you're a threat. Like I was going to be dumb enough to even let you get to the merge." So she tried to get him taken out early and it worked... almost too well. But it didn't mean she wasn't a tiny bit sorry for screwing him over like that.

"Eh, Lightning can live with that."

It felt weird now that he'd apologized about the prime reason for her hating him so much, it was like everything between them had been thrown off, the whole dynamic had changed. Jo didn't know quite how to act around him now.

She still tried to be casual, resting her back on the couch and her arm on the knee of the leg she'd brought up. She just had to feign indifference. Like she cared that he apologized? Like that made up for him being a dumbass last season? _Yeah right!_ But Jo smiled a little despite herself and watched the TV.

It was where they had to get the logs down. Lightning had just looked like an idiot trying to climb the tree. Jo laughed at him on the screen.

"Yeah, you didn't need Chris to make you look bad, you did that all on your own," she commented. It was just good for him that his team had B, who saved his can in that challenge.

"Well, at least I bothered to help my team!" He cried indignantly. "All those guys were losers, and I had to carry the weight of every last one of them!" He pointed at B on the screen, scoffing. "That dude was just riding on my sha-glory!"

Then came the log racing with those stupid bombs. Chris just wanted to kill them the whole time. It was the first time she'd met Brick too. They'd made a good team... until he became a liability. But Brick didn't make her feel as self conscious and confused as Lightning did all the time. Which meant he was much better company... but it was too late for that now.

Jo had to admit that Chris screwed Lightning's team with that first challenge. But who was she to complain? Winning by default was still winning! "Your team kinda sucked," Jo commented as they got rid of Staci.

"Uh, no. I'm talking about who actually contributes to a team! None of those guys really had any way of contributing! None if the girls, neither! The gamer guy was lucky me, Scott and Rick were around, because he was barely a dude!"

The gamer guy? _Oooh Sam!_ Jo had forgotten about him. Even though there he was on screen she supposed with everyone else. "Yeah, I guess Gamer Boy didn't really contribute much. He goes under the radar I guess. Not annoying enough to get voted out but not worth anything to the team..."

Lightning scoffed. "He didn't even deserve to be called a sha-hero! Lightning is more of a hero than he'll ever be!"

Lightning had a very loose definition of what a hero was it seemed. Yeah, sure he was a winner, but he wasn't much of a hero.

"That's you Lightning, hero extraordinaire," Jo said sarcastically just remembered afterwards how he didn't understand sarcasm. That was annoying. But she didn't need to explain it all to him, if he wanted to go on thinking himself as a hero, so be it.

"Why thank you, Jo. Glad someone sha-gets it."

_Ugh_, Mike and Zoey were acting lovey dovey on screen again. Jo wanted to gag... seriously. "Yeah, those two make me want to gag. If you ask me, always wanting to be saved is pathetic. Guys should want a girl who can save their own ass."

"He's like a toothpick," Lightning said with disgust. "Ain't now way that kid's a man!"

_Ughhhhhhh_. Double the groaning. He _always_ did this. Yeah, sure Mike wasn't what Jo would consider manly either, but even still... Lightning's definitions of who was a man or not were getting ridiculous.

"While Mike may be a pathetic weenie of a guy, he's still a guy. And how do you even define who's a man and who's not? Whoever has the biggest stash of protein powder?" Like how he ruled that she was a guy, and yeah, he may have apologized but it kinda stung to be seen as more of a man than the MPD loser, no matter how much of a twig he was.

"You're sha-different. You're the first girl I ever met who was actually tough, and not girly at all. That's where I got mixed up." That and the fact that he was dumber than a sack of rocks but she appreciated the flattery even though she knew he was only doing it to save his own ass.

It started playing the next episode by default where Scott was talking all about his lame plan that didn't even end up working... and then when she collided with Brick. She winced even before it happened on the screen, remembering it.

"Brick was helpful for a while," she thought back to it. "It's too bad that moral code of his got in the way of the game."

While they were talking together on screen Jo noticed Lightning's eyes narrowed, and he pursed his lips as if scrutinizing the screen. "Did you like him?" Lightning blurted, turning his attention to Jo.

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_We've got some serious talking about Brick coming up.  
_

_And Jo finally comes clean about what she thought about him._

_Lightning may not be impressed._


	11. Chapter 11: His Sha-Type

_A/N; The angstiest chapter ever. They fight. It goes nowhere. The usual denial happens. But we're making progress. Anyway, my computer broke and I already had this ready to go up. But as for anything else I had, it's long gone. However the RP continues and this story will continue. So Merry Christmas to all and there should be more up after the break!  
_

_Summary: Jo didn't want to be __eliminated_ this early in the competition, and having Lightning for company at the Playa is no consolation prize. Post Jo's elimination set in TDAS canon.  


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**_Lessons in Loserdom  
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**_Chapter Eleven: His Sha-Type  
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Lightning was acting weird again. Brick was just about to cop to wetting himself and he was asking if she'd liked him?! Jo thought about this. Cadet Mincemeat. Well she supposed she could have had a thing with him, looking back now, even though it never crossed her mind at the time.

"Dampy Pants? Are you serious?" She looked back at Lightning. Surely liking Brick would've been easier than liking this dimwit. "It never would've worked with me and Brick. He loves his precious moral code too much, not to mention his mommy. Why?"

"Okay," Lightning said, relaxing back into the couch.

He hadn't answered her questioning of why. It seemed like a weird question, that was all. And it kind of bugged her that he just ignored the question.

"Maybe I did like him," she said with a scowl on her face. Not like she thought Lightning would care but she wanted to justify herself. "I mean, I could do worse than a guy like Brick. Sure, he sleeps with a night light and wets himself and he probably has deep conversations with his mom every night... but he was pretty tough. So yeah, Brick was all right. Maybe I'll contact him after this whole season is done with..." _Maybe_.

"...What?" His head whipped back to her. "You're joking, right? That guy's way too weak. Sure you wanna put up with Mr. Sha-Nice Guy all day?"

Okay, so maybe 'putting up' with Mr Nice Guy all day hadn't been what she had bargained for. But was he seriously claiming that Brick was too weak for her? If she crossed off everyone that was weaker than she was who would she be left with? Nobody. That was right... nobody. And as much as she enjoyed being a one woman team, it sucked the idea that nobody would ever be with her.

"I'm not joking," she replied, gritting her teeth. "If not Brick then who else would you suggest Sha-Genius?" It really narrowed down the options if she had to go with someone tougher than Brick. "It's not like I..." have a ton of options. No way was she finishing that sentence and making herself look desperate or stupid.

"Who?!" Lightning stood up, unable to stay in his seat. "ME! LIGHTNING! How could you forget?!" His eye was twitching at this point.

Okay, NOW Lightning was acting weird. Maybe she'd just been entering 'feeling sorry for herself territory, which she did not like but at his comical display at standing up like that, it completely knocked her out of it.

Him? Was he serious? Lightning didn't like her! That was preposterous!

Jo looked him over and then doubled over laughing, unable to keep it in. "Very funny, Lightheaded." She thought so. And if it wasn't a joke she wasn't going to be in so pleasant a mood. "Come on, sit down. You're being ridiculous."

"But...but..." he sputtered, pointing a confused finger in her direction, before losing it. "GAH! What the heck, Jo?! Don't you like me? You said you did!"

When had she ever said she liked him? So it wasn't just a joke? And of course it'd be all about his ego, as per usual. But... huh. Interesting... Was he actually angry about her possibly contacting Brick? Like possessive over who she liked? Okay, that was weird.

All traces of laughter were gone from her face as she was pondering this. If she admitted she liked him she would be feeding his ego. And she never liked doing that. But if she just denied it then what? Then it went back to normal and her heart sank. She didn't want that either.

"Not that I ever remember saying that I like you Protein Powder for Brains," she started, playing it safe. "But so what if I did? I know I'm not your type." The intelligent type. And he still confused her for a guy, there was that.

"But-last night! You said that you were jealous of how I wanted to look at Lindsay..." Lightning exploded and seemed to get angrier and angrier. "You mean I spent all day thinking you liked me for nothing?! The cannonballs, the...the spa...all of it?! Oh come on! And another thing!" He jabbed his finger at her accusingly. "How do you know you ain't my type?! Lightning ain't even GOT a sha-type!"

_Okay WHAT?!_ He'd wanted to impress her?! She hadn't seen that one coming! She hadn't even noticed he was acting differently. She was shocked and how didn't she know she was her type? Because he liked pretty girls with no brains! _That's how!_

"Oh come off it Lightning. This isn't about you liking me! This is about you and your ego having to have everyone else like you!" She said, a little more than she'd liked. She stood up too, pointing a finger in his face. "Think about for a second. You don't honestly like me. Just admit it." And stop screwing with her.

"What do you mean, my ego?! I honestly thought you liked me! Is it wrong that a guy who likes you wants to impress you?!" Then he seemed to calm down a little. "You know what? Forget it. It doesn't matter anyway." He started leaving as Brick ran into a pole repeatedly. "You'd never like me anyway, what was the point?"

Jo opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times. He actually had a point, that dumbass actually made sense. And now he was pitying himself all because she delivered a blow to his ego that maybe it wasn't all about him. So he just decided to walk away. Dang that jerk kept acting like a woman around her. Moody much?

Jo grabbed his jersey by the back and pulled him back into the room. "That's rich Lightning. I'd never like YOU? Look, every guy I've ever known has treated me as one of the guys and you thought I actually WAS a guy. So you don't get to do this. Man up, Lightning." She pushed him. "You're being stupid." Like always.

"I'M being stupid?!" Now he was fighting back. "You don't give anyone room to treat you like a girl, cuz you always talk down about 'em! Like Lindsay out there! Sure I thought you were a dude, I told you: you had this power to you some girly-girl doesn't! Forgive me for treating you how I thought you wanted to be treated!"

It was entirely possible that she tipped him over the edge at this point. She'd been pushing him and now he was pushing back. "Seriously?"she spat. "Lindsay? She barely has two brain cells to rub together! What? Am I supposed to sit down with her and do my nails?! Did I even say I wanted to be treated like a girl?! Much less by someone like YOU?!"

"I didn't say that! You're not girly!" He got in her face, glaring down at her. "How do you want to be treated, Jo? Tell me!"

Jo wasn't the type to back down or give up, like ever. If someone threatened her it just made her more likely to stand her ground. But her heart was pounding and her face was heated and she wasn't sure how to stand her ground in this situation. He was never going to get it. He was never going to get HER. When he was getting in her face like this it just riled her up and made her want to lash out. But she refrained from doing any bodily harm to him and her face softened for a moment. Was she angry or just sad? She didn't even know anymore.

"Like it matters Jockstrap. Like you or anyone else is going to treat me how I want."

"AAH!" He threw his hands in the air, taking a step back. "Tell me what the hell you want! How do you know I won't get it? Did you know I knew-well, thought-you liked me?!"

She didn't know what the hell she wanted herself. And she hadn't caught on to his little mess up where he assumed she liked him. The worst part was that she wasn't entirely convinced he was wrong either. She got his frustration, she was feeling the same way and this wasn't going anywhere.

_So what did she want?_

"I want you to shut the hell up Lightning." First and foremost. But not to leave again.

Her hand shot out to grab his. Lightning's mouth obligingly clamped shut, glaring at Jo in response.

"Look, let's just watch the rest of this crappy season." She tugged him back to the couch.

This was better than being forced into admitting she liked him. Her heart was drumming uncontrollably again and she had to admit he'd been right, but she didn't need him to know it. "This whole thing doesn't really matter." Why was he making such a big deal about it? The whole jealousy thing... Brick. Well screw it, if he liked her he'd have to realize it by himself.

Lightning slumped back down on the couch, just in time for Dakota to get voted off.

_Great_.

He complied with her and was shutting up and sitting down. Jo breathed out in relief and sat beside him, with a little more distance than before. They could put this whole weirdness behind them of her liking him and him getting confused and angry about it and her feeling like there was no point because things like that never worked out for her.

They'd missed quite a bit. She wondered what Lightning's embarrassing secret would've been if Chris had time to get to everyone else. Besides messing up everyone's gender what would actually make Lightning too uncomfortable to admit?

She frowned, watching him. This whole thing was a mess. Why couldn't she just...? And then a familiar face entered the room. A swollen, messed up familiar face.

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_Ooohhh, enter everyone's favorite gamer._


End file.
